


Leaving The Past Behind

by GreyHaven



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Getting Together, Haven Advent Calendar 2017, M/M, Pre-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-10 23:46:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12922785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyHaven/pseuds/GreyHaven
Summary: Prompt:  "Standing out from the stack was this small handwritten envelope"One way Nathan and Duke might have gotten together :)





	Leaving The Past Behind

**Author's Note:**

> Set pre-canon, just after Nathan finishes college and a few months after Duke won the Rouge and left town.
> 
> For the advent calendar prompt - "Standing out from the stack was this small handwritten envelope"
> 
> With thanks to DixieSiryn and YumeArashi for beta reading and hand holding <3

**** Nathan turned into the driveway and parked.  He stared at the house.  It wasn’t  _ home _ any more.  If it ever had been.  It was just his father’s house, and where he was sleeping for the time being.

It had been a long time since he’d lived in Haven, or at least it felt like a long time to him.  Three years away at college, only coming home at Christmas and for the summer, another six months in the academy.  And now here he was, graduated and ready to start his new career as a cop.  He wished that he felt more enthusiastic about it, but it was what the chief had expected and he hadn’t been...well, he hadn’t been strong enough to stand up for what  _ he _ wanted.

And so he found himself back in Haven just in time for Christmas, ready to start working at Haven PD in January.  As he unloaded his bags from the truck, he thought about finding himself an apartment - he couldn’t live with his father for more than a few days, not without them snapping at each other and destroying their already fragile relationship further.  He hadn’t quite worked out how they were going to be able to work together but maybe he’d be able to keep some distance and not just be the chief’s son.

The door was locked, as it always was.  Nathan rummaged around for the spare key the chief kept semi-hidden above the door jamb.  He grinned wryly to himself.  Not the most security conscious thing for a cop to do, but it was  _ Haven _ and nothing bad ever happened here.  Most of his work would be helping old ladies cross the street and rescuing cats from trees - not exactly fulfilling, but it would involve helping people and that’s what was important to him.

He dropped his bags onto the floor with a loud thud and started rifling through the pile of mail his father had left on the side table for him.  It had been six months since he’d been back and he’d never bothered changing his address while he was at college.  The chief had forwarded anything that seemed urgent so most of the pile was junk, at least he thought so until something caught his eye.

Standing out from the stack was this small, handwritten, envelope.  Interesting.  He pulled it out and recognised the handwriting immediately.  How could he not?  The slanted, spiky, scrawl of his one-time best friend.  Duke Crocker.

With the junk mail dumped on one side to deal with later (and by ‘deal with’, he meant throwing it, unopened, into the trash), Nathan carefully tore open the envelope.  He hesitated, the note in his hand.  The last time he saw Duke hadn’t gone well and they hadn’t parted on the best of terms.  He wasn’t entirely sure he was ready to read what Duke had written to him.  Recriminations, perhaps.  Or accusations.  He sighed, remembering.

The argument had been just over a year ago.  Shortly before he went back for his final year at college and not long after Duke had won a boat in a poker game on his twenty first birthday.  He’d practically begged Nathan to go with him, to travel the world and have fun, adventures in every port.  Nathan had admitted that it sounded like a good plan - what could be better than spending time with his best friend? - but with college and the academy to worry about, he couldn’t just take off with Duke for however long he planned to be away for.

So he’d refused and Duke had...well, Duke had flipped, for lack of a better word.  Told Nathan that he was weak, that he’d given up on his dreams, that he was following in his Dad’s footsteps instead of treading his own path.  And Nathan had scowled and countered that Duke just didn’t like the idea of him becoming a cop because he was a petty crook who was following in  _ his _ Dad’s footsteps.  It had gone downhill from there, resulting in blows and black eyes and bleeding lips.  They’d called a truce before they parted but still...  They hadn’t spoken since and now Duke had written to him.

Nathan took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself before he unfolded the note.

**Nate -**

**I’m sorry.  For everything I said and for leaving without saying a proper goodbye.  You deserved better.**

**I’ll be back for Christmas.  God only knows why, there’s nothing for me in Haven any more, but I will be.**

**Meet me at Tuwikowok Bluff at 8pm on Christmas Eve.  If you don’t come then I’ll know that you can’t accept my apology or don’t want to see me.  And that’s fine, I’ll move on, sail back off into the sunset.  But if you do come then maybe we have stuff to talk about.**

**I hope to see you there, but I’ll understand if you don’t.  Or can’t.  If that’s the case then...well, have a good Christmas and a happy life and I hope that, in time, you’ll be able to remember the good times we had.**

**Duke**

As he read the note, Nathan’s fingers shook.  It was so different from Duke’s usual happy-underlined-with-sarcasm tone.  8pm, Christmas Eve.  Tomorrow night.  He knew he’d be there, if for no other reason than to say goodbye to Duke properly.  They both deserved better than the way they’d left things all those months ago.

***

Duke shivered, whether from cold or nerves he didn’t know.  The town looked pretty from up here, the lights glinting off the snow, but there was a biting edge to the wind and he wished for a warmer jacket.  He glanced at his watch.  7.58.  Nathan wasn’t late yet.  If he was coming at all.

Months had passed after their argument while Duke decided whether or not to get in touch.  Longer still before he decided to come back to Haven, the town he hated so much, that held so many bad memories for him.  Even now, he wondered if he’d made the right decision.  His teeth chattered and he looked at his watch again.  7.59.  He sighed, surprised that only a minute had gone by, and decided he’d give Nathan til half past.  If he was coming at all, he’d be here on time.  Nathan had always been Mr. Punctual, never a minute late for anything.  An extra half an hour would be plenty of time.

Sure enough, only seconds later his ears pricked up at the sound of an engine coming up the hill.  No one else would be out at this time on a cold Christmas Eve and he watched the road expectantly as Nathan’s slightly battered blue Bronco turned into the small parking area, the lights bright on the undisturbed snow.  

Duke turned away.  He didn’t want to see the look on Nathan’s face, expecting to see anger, bitterness.  What if he’d just come for another fight?  Meeting might have been his idea but now that it had come down to it, he wasn’t sure he was ready to hear whatever Nathan had come to say.

Footsteps crunched in the snow as Nathan made his way across the parking area and Duke’s heart thudded in his chest as Nathan stopped beside him.

“Duke,” he said quietly, a hesitant greeting.

“Nate,” Duke replied, his tone guarded, uncertain.  “You came.”

“You asked me to,” Nathan shrugged.  “Wasn’t going to ignore what you wrote.”

“So...does that mean…?”  Duke could hardly let himself hope.

“That I accept your apology?  Yeah.  I’m sorry too, for what it’s worth.  Know it doesn’t mean a lot now but…”  

Duke grinned and launched at him.  He dragged Nathan into a hug and squeezed him tightly as relief flooded through him.  If nothing else, maybe their friendship could be salvaged.

“You’re freezing,” Nathan said as he wrapped his arms around Duke.  Not only was Duke’s skin cold to the touch, but Nathan could feel him trying not to shiver.  “You been up here a while?”

“Yeah,” Duke replied sheepishly.

Nathan cast his eyes around, looking for a car that Duke might have driven here.  “Wait...did you  _ walk _ here?”

“Well I didn’t fly, if that’s what you’re asking,” Duke snarked back at him.

“It’s three miles, Duke, and in the snow.  What were you thinking?”  Nathan ran his hand through his hair.

“That I wanted to see you and this seemed like a good place.”

“Idiot,” Nathan said, somewhere between affection and exasperation.  “Come and sit in the truck, warm up a bit.”

Duke obediently followed him back to the truck and hopped into the passenger seat.  His cheeks flushed red in the warmth from the heater and he flexed his fingers to get rid of the aches as they thawed out.

Nathan eyed him critically.  He still looked too thin, but better than last time they’d seen each other.  And he didn’t look so tired any more.  But there was an edge to him now, an sharpness which said that he wasn’t entirely sure if he could trust Nathan.

“You said you wanted to talk,” Nathan said, as blunt as ever.  Might as well get down to it.

“Way to just launch straight into it,” Duke glared back at him, buying himself an extra couple of seconds to find the right words.  “Yeah, I just wanted to apologise in person, see if we can sort things out.  Or at least go our separate ways on a good note.”

“Apology accepted,” Nathan said, his voice softer now he knew Duke didn’t want to fight or rehash the past.  “And I don’t want to go our separate ways.  I want my friend back.”  That’s all he’d ever wanted.  The past year had felt  _ wrong _ without Duke in his life.

Duke dropped his eyes and fiddled with a non-existent mark on his jeans.  Anything to distract himself.  There was one more thing he had to say and he had  _ no idea _ how Nathan was going to take it.  “That’s the thing…”

“What?”  Nathan raised his eyebrows, waiting.

“I don’t want to be just friends,” Duke said quietly, still avoiding looking at Nathan.  “Remember all that fooling around we used to do?” - Nathan made a wordless sound of agreement - "...I don’t want it to be just that.”

Nathan stared at him.  He could hardly dare to believe that Duke meant what he’d just said.

Duke’s cheeks flushed red again, with embarrassment this time.  He reached for the door handle.  “Silence, huh?  Guess that’s about what I expected. Goodbye, Nathan,” he said quietly, opening the door.

“Duke, wait!” Nathan grabbed his arm.  “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to say sorry, just...let me walk away, preserve what’s left of my dignity.  I don’t need to hear you say it.”

“Will you shut up for a minute,” Nathan snapped and immediately regretted it.  “I’m sorry for the silence.  You know I suck at this stuff.”

Duke glanced at him, his face full of barely disguised hope.

“Don’t go,” Nathan half-pleaded with him, relieved when Duke closed the door and settled back into his seat.  “I want more than friends too, I just didn’t think  _ you  _ did.”

“Nate,” Duke replied softly.  “Don’t say that if you don’t mean it.”

“I mean it,” Nathan told him firmly, letting go of Duke’s arm to curl his hand around Duke’s neck.  He leaned in to press his lips to Duke’s, just for a split second before he pulled back.

Duke’s mouth curved into a half smile as he dragged Nathan back for a proper kiss, full of warmth and hunger and passion.

“You mean it,” he smiled at Nathan when they broke apart.

“Yeah,” Nathan grinned back at him.

“I thought I’d lost you, that I’d fucked it all up,” Duke said quietly.

“I thought the same,” Nathan admitted.  “We should go home, get warmed up properly.”

“What about your Dad?  He hates me,” Duke worried.

“Working a double shift, then ice fishing with his buddies.  Won’t be back til the twenty seventh,” Nathan told him.

“He left you on your own for Christmas?” Duke asked, incredulous.  

Nathan nodded, not trusting himself to speak.  Really, it pretty much summed up the relationship he had with his father.

“Man, that’s...shit.”

Nathan laughed at the understatement.  “Yeah.  So.  You spending Christmas with me or are you leaving me to a microwave ready meal and staring at old movies until I die of boredom?”

“Well, if it’ll save your life…,” Duke joked.

“It will,” Nathan replied, deadpan.

“Then I’m coming.  Please tell me you have better things to eat than microwave meals, though.”

“Nope, can’t cook to save my life.”

“Dammit, Nathan, we’re gonna have to do something about that.  Store’ll still be open if we go now, right?  We’ll pick up some stuff and I’ll cook you Christmas dinner.”

“You can cook?”

“I can cook, don’t sound so doubtful.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to.”

“We’ll get stuff for pancakes, roast turkey and all the trimmings, popcorn, cocoa,” Duke started listing things.  “I bet we can even find a tree and some decorations.”

“It’s starting to sound like a proper Christmas,” Nathan grinned.

“Well, yeah, what’s the point otherwise?”  Duke looked surprised.  

Nathan dragged him into a hug, wrapping his arms tightly around Duke and nuzzling into his hair.  “Thanks, Duke,” he whispered.  “For coming back, for saying what I couldn’t say, for spending Christmas with me.”

Duke held him tightly.  “Thanks for coming to hear me out.”

Nathan smiled against Duke’s neck before a sudden thought struck him.  He pulled back, his hands resting on Duke’s shoulders.  “You are  _ staying _ though, aren’t you?  You’re not going to sail off again?”

Duke pressed his hand lightly against Nathan’s cheek, stroking down his jaw to his chin.  “I’m staying,” he said softly.  “Not going anywhere.  Not while you’re here, anyway.”

“Good,” Nathan breathed a sigh of relief.  “C’mon, we’ve got a Christmas to get ready.”


End file.
